we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
