I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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