I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
