Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize