I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
