I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
