I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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