these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
