Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
