She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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