if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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