he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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