Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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