I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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