my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
