I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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