It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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