Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
