watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
