if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
