You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
