omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As shirtless as possible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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