Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
