is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
