I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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