I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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