I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
