oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
