Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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