dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize