You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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