Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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