Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize