so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
