It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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