she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
