Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
