At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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