No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
