I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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