Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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