we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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