I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
