I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize