So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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