weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
