He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
