sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had to cum in my sink.
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