Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
