Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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