Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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