dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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