Your tits are I can't wait for
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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