I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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