Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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