make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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