He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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