If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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