she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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