If i come over, it means nothing
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize