sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
